No courtship, then how do i talk to girls?

Thought this might be an interesting read for you guys & girls ;)

By Walt Alexander, click here for the original source.

Last week I asked the question “If I say goodbye to courtship (for now), what do I say hello to?” I mentioned three things: say hello to the Lord, say hello to more friends, and say hello to serving. But how do we relate to girls – to the people we are trained to dream about all our lives?

Treat them like sisters. In 1 Timothy 5:2, Paul commands Timothy to treat “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” This is God’s word for young, single men. Treat all young women like sisters.

This means, treat them like a sister! Encourage them, point them to godliness, guard their hearts, serve them, enjoy worshipping the Savior with them, correct them (as needed). And (for the girls’ benefit), guys, be creative with this! Refuse the temptation to sulk through singlehood. Enjoy this season and draw in groups of girls and guys to enjoy it with you. Plan trips. Plan events. Brainstorm encouraging things to do for and with the girls.

One compelling example of this is how Kevin Shipp used his singlehood. As you know, he was married last weekend after spending some twenty odd years single. Kevin constantly planned things for groups of girls and guys to do. He took groups to DC and NYC. He took groups to punk rock shows. And much much much more!

However, this also means, do not treat them in any other way than you would your own sister. Do not flirt with them, do not lead them on, do not (with your words or actions) allow them to assume you will pursue them at any point in the future, carefully subdue unruly affections. In all your words and actions, guard their hearts. Be wise and think these things through carefully.

Specifically, guys, I want to encourage you to carefully choose how to communicate with girls. There are several methods of communication, like facebook, txt messaging, gchat, and iChat, which seem to allow unguarded and unintentional conversation and interaction. Oftentimes, we can chat with someone intentionally on the Internet and yet gradually (as sin usually works) slide into more flirtatious, unhelpful dialogue. The danger with these conversations is that they often leave girls wondering why you said that or how you said that, because you were not there to clarify. They, in effect, provide a longer leash for romantic imagination and, in so doing, can disrupt a girl’s undistracted devotion to the Lord.

Finally, we are to treat all girls like sisters; meaning, we are to be impartial. We are not to single out some girls to receive our attention, while neglecting other girls. This is implicit of Paul’s use of “all” in 1 Tim 5:2. But this doesn’t mean you must have equal relationships with every girl you know, as if you must run from girl to girl updating them with more attention. The thought alone is just exhausting! But it does mean that you should carefully interact with girls, allowing no one to perceive that you relate to one girl and several girls too much and in an exclusive manner.

P.S. Fellas, if you want a real idea of how you interact with girls, ask one of the intern girls or other mature girls in VFC! The answer may be shocking.